A shorter, one-step way to practice the Radical Acceptance that Tara Brach writes about is to respond to life's ups and downs with a simple "Welcome".
I find that when I welcome my experience, no matter how difficult, a tenderness is stirred inside toward myself, and toward life itself. I've expanded the "Welcome" by adding a gentle reminder to myself, "This too, is life." Life is precious, and all that I experience is affirmation that I am alive. When I welcome my experience, I welcome life.
The certainty of eventual death is something that I have always struggled with. By welcoming my experience as Life, I am present to my Existence. Perhaps a lifetime of being Present to Life will enable me someday to face Death with acceptance, too.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
radical acceptance
I am experiencing a foundationally transformative book right now, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha. The author, Tara Brach, writes beautifully and profoundly about a practice born out of Vipassana (mindfulness) meditation.
The practice is Radical Acceptance, and as I have used it in my life over the past few weeks I have been amazed at its transformative effect. You'll be reading a lot on this blog about radical acceptance, but in this post I'd like to share about its surprisingly simple core.
Tara describes two steps in Radical Acceptance, and the first is simply Mindfulness; checking in with ourselves and noticing what we are experiencing in the present moment. We observe our physical sensations, our emotions, and the stories that run through our minds about our present experience. For example, if someone cuts me off on the freeway, I might immediately experience fear. This might feel like a balloon blowing up inside my chest, or my muscles tightening while my heart beats fast. I might feel angry, with a churning feeling in my stomach. I might notice that there is a story going through my mind saying that the person who cut me off doesn't care about my life or about their dangerous actions.
The second step is to accept this immediate experience non-judgmentally, and with compassion. Taking a kindly approach to ourselves, we do not push away uncomfortable sensations, nor do we grasp after pleasant ones. We accept what is, in the present moment, and give to ourselves the same compassion that we would to a cherished friend. This is very different from my previous practice of telling myself sternly why I should "get over" something, which often led me to resentment or guilt that I wasn't "getting with the program" and moving on. When I accept my present experience with compassion, it is as though I am sitting down next to myself, and offering the friendship of silent, loving companionship.
Putting these two steps together, my practice is to say in my mind, "I notice that I am feeling __________." And, I accept this with compassion.
Something happens inside me when I do this . . . it's as though the emotions and sensations that have been consuming me recede a little. I am not longer anger. I am no longer sadness. Anger or sadness is present, but I am detached just enough to make this experience manageable. Frankly, my experience has been that once I've practice radical acceptance in a given situation, about 75% of the time the discomfort just disappears. Always, it's made more bearable. Unbelievable.
There is so much more to share, but I'll save it for future posts! I'll be posting much more regularly now, so stop by again soon! :)
The practice is Radical Acceptance, and as I have used it in my life over the past few weeks I have been amazed at its transformative effect. You'll be reading a lot on this blog about radical acceptance, but in this post I'd like to share about its surprisingly simple core.
Tara describes two steps in Radical Acceptance, and the first is simply Mindfulness; checking in with ourselves and noticing what we are experiencing in the present moment. We observe our physical sensations, our emotions, and the stories that run through our minds about our present experience. For example, if someone cuts me off on the freeway, I might immediately experience fear. This might feel like a balloon blowing up inside my chest, or my muscles tightening while my heart beats fast. I might feel angry, with a churning feeling in my stomach. I might notice that there is a story going through my mind saying that the person who cut me off doesn't care about my life or about their dangerous actions.
The second step is to accept this immediate experience non-judgmentally, and with compassion. Taking a kindly approach to ourselves, we do not push away uncomfortable sensations, nor do we grasp after pleasant ones. We accept what is, in the present moment, and give to ourselves the same compassion that we would to a cherished friend. This is very different from my previous practice of telling myself sternly why I should "get over" something, which often led me to resentment or guilt that I wasn't "getting with the program" and moving on. When I accept my present experience with compassion, it is as though I am sitting down next to myself, and offering the friendship of silent, loving companionship.
Putting these two steps together, my practice is to say in my mind, "I notice that I am feeling __________." And, I accept this with compassion.
Something happens inside me when I do this . . . it's as though the emotions and sensations that have been consuming me recede a little. I am not longer anger. I am no longer sadness. Anger or sadness is present, but I am detached just enough to make this experience manageable. Frankly, my experience has been that once I've practice radical acceptance in a given situation, about 75% of the time the discomfort just disappears. Always, it's made more bearable. Unbelievable.
There is so much more to share, but I'll save it for future posts! I'll be posting much more regularly now, so stop by again soon! :)
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