DBT mindfulness

I am finding the principles of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) so useful in my personal and professional life!  Developed by Marsha Linehan, DBT is a type of therapy designed to teach emotional regulation.  However, the bulk of DBT is a plethora of skills that can be practiced by most without participating in the therapy.

The cornerstone of the skills is mindfulness, the act of being aware of one's current experience (and the topic of this blog!).  With this awareness, we can identify what we need in order to calm down (if our nervous system is activated) or amp up (if our nervous system is depressed).  DBT offers a really cool model for understanding our state of mind, in the moment.

On one end of our experiencing is our Emotional Mind.  When we operate in our Emotional Mind, our immediate wants and needs are amplified.  Picture an infant, who is consumed with what it desires in the present moment--that's Emotional Mind.

On the other end is our Reasonable, or Rational Mind.  Rational Mind thinks logically, without regard for "irrational" wants and needs.  Picture a robot.   Picture Mr. Spock.

In the middle is Wise Mind, the synthesis of Emotional and Rational Minds.  There are two ways I've found to identify Wise Mind.  One is to check in with our Emotional and Rational Minds, and explore what they each want out of the situation.  Finding a compromise, a way to honor both, is one way to operate from Wise Mind.

The other way to access Wise Mind is intuitively.  Checking in with our "gut", praying, or asking our deepest self what the best course of action is.  I usually know that I have tapped into Wise Mind when I feel a settledness, a calm sense that I've discovered the right path.  It may not be what I want to do, but acknowledging it comes with a sense of peace and certainty. 

Here's a simple example.  Let's say I have a ton of chores to accomplish this weekend, but I'm really tired and just want to relax.  I check in with Emotional Mind, which just wants to curl up with a good book in my pajamas and order delivery.  I check in with Rational Mind, which is concerned about the consequences of not accomplishing the chores and wants to push me to work.  What do I do? 

I can spend some time checking in with Wise Mind, feeling awake to both my need to rest my body, and my need to attend to important tasks.  Perhaps I sit myself down and make a list of only the most vital, time-sensitive tasks, and leave the rest of my list.  Perhaps I appoint one day for resting and one for working.  Perhaps I ask someone for help.  Perhaps I write the tasks into my schedule for the following week and commence with my "pajamas and book" idea.  Just the act of tending to ALL my needs, instead of just the ones I think I should, opens up creative possibilities.

Try it out!  Check in with yourself at various points during the day, or when you are facing a tough decision.  Identify what Emotional Mind wants and what Rational Mind wants.  Then either find a way to honor both, or use your intuition to identify your Wise Mind response.

DBT's official website: http://behavioraltech.org/